By Liana Jacob
THIS GRANDMOTHER who was told by friends to ‘find someone your own age’ after meeting her TOYBOY FIANCE, who is NINETEEN-YEARS YOUNGER, says that their love is forever and that he makes her feel young, unlike her past relationships that she compares to boring old sneakers – and the SEX IS AMAZING.
Plus size model and writer, Tonya Parker (48) met her fiancé, Fed-Ex driver, Derek McGarr (29) from Kansas, USA, in April 2014, when he was 25-years-old.
They became instantly attracted to one another and despite comments from their families claiming that it was just a phase, they have been together and loved up for nearly five years.
Tonya says she has never been in a relationship with a younger man before, but she feels this love is forever.
“The attraction and chemistry between us was instant; like a sweet electrical charge slowly running through me,” Tonya said.
“He told me I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen in a way that I knew he was telling the truth.
“We lived two hours away from each other the first two years and would go away together two weekends a month; it was hell. But also, exciting and so passionate. We just talked, laughed and enjoyed each other’s company.
“He was very immature and had never been in a relationship longer than three months. I was working on ending my second marriage.
“It seemed impossible, doomed to fail. Everyone said it was a phase I was going through, but we’ve made each other happy in a way that was new for both of us.
“They said I needed to find someone my own age, someone more ‘suitable’ for me. I didn’t listen. His family has always accepted me, but mine is still not on board.
“I have a grandson, so that makes it very stressful. I’m constantly asked to choose. I haven’t. So many fights and tears, attempts at breaking up, but we cannot stay away from each other.
“We moved in together within a few years and it just clicked. He is a neat freak, so that took some getting used to because I’m more laid back. In fact, I would say he’s type A and I’m type B.
“Derek has always been a challenge because he is very passionate and knows what he wants. He is very possessive, but I like that most of the time as I am the same.
“He makes me feel young, although I’ve never felt like my age. It’s never boring; we are very active and love to try new things.
“Our sex life is as amazing today as it was in the beginning. We have sex at least once a day and only take a break when I’m away.
“Often, we’ll stay in bed all day and watch movies and cuddle. Ultimately, we just love spending time together and be in each other’s company inside and outside the bedroom.
“This relationship is completely different from both my other long-term relationships. They felt comfortable, like old sneakers. Boring.
“This is exciting, refreshing, energetic. It’s not something I can sleep through and that’s what I need -stimulation on every level.”
In August 2017, Derek proposed to Tonya and they are planning to get married in July this year. Since Tonya is a mum to two children and a grandmother of one boy, she doesn’t see children in their future.
“He proposed to me on a bended knee two years ago, very old fashioned, because he knew that it was important to me,” she said.
“We had a whole engagement shoot at a gorgeous outdoor park that was a surprise. His family was always accepting of it, at least they never said anything to us.
“The most difficult thing has been how different we are in many ways and how much of my heart is always in Joplin with my kids and grandson.
“I go every week or two for a few days, but I miss them all the time. We’re working on moving there full time, but he has an amazing job here, so it’s hard to give up.
“I don’t want any more children. We entertained the idea, but I think I’m too old at this point. I do worry that he’ll wake one day and decide he wants his own children and I have to live with that. Until then, he can spoil Micah.
“To anyone who thinks I’m a cougar, I guess it depends on your strict definition of the word. I am not exclusively attracted to younger guys, just Derek.
“I’ve never dated anyone that much younger than me, so I probably don’t qualify really. But it sounds sexy, so people like to call me that.
“I’m sure people criticise our relationship, but no one who actually knows us well as a couple. We mesh. We click. I can’t always explain it, but it works. It’s not always easy, relationships never are.
“To those who would criticise us, I would say worry about watering your own garden and stay out of mine.
“We have a passionate, fun, passionate, creative, satisfying, gratifying, ever evolving love affair that they should be so lucky to have.”
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