By Rebecca Drew
THIS POLYAMOROUS QUAD family share NINE children together and say their relationship is just as loving as any other – but it does mean a lot of BED HOPPING for this busy husband as he rotates between a different partner’s bed each night.
Retired firefighter and business owner, Jermaine Roquemore (41) from Bakersfield, California, USA, always knew that he wanted a large family and that being monogamous would not bring him happiness as he had a lot of love to give and didn’t want to be in a lying, cheating one-on-one relationship that could end in heartbreak.
Jermaine met his first wife, Angelica (41) who works in real estate, 22 years ago whilst he was working as a bouncer at a nightclub and after she made the first move, the pair dated and fell in love and have been married for 13 years and together they have three children, Hennayee Janiverly (19), Jermaine Deon (17) and Lodum Quinton (14).
In March 2001 Jermaine met his second partner, retail manager Leighanne (36) online and although they started off as friends, romance blossomed between the two of them and Leigh moved in with Angelica and Jermaine in September that year. They have four sons together, Braylon Lee Anthony (15), Aniken Raz (13), Izan Marcel (11) and Holden Jermaine (9).
In 2015 Jermaine was working away and after talking with Angelica and Leigh, met his third partner, analyst, Maria (41) on a dating app. After going on a couple dates, they fell in love and decided that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. They have one daughter together, Amelia (2).
Jermaine, Angelica, Leigh and Maria live together with their nine children and whilst they used to share the same bedroom, now each wife has their own bedroom which Jermaine takes turns sleeping in throughout the week. Jermaine has always been open with his partners and has given them the option to have boyfriends should they wish.
They share their family life on Instagram and YouTube and have created a support unit to connect other polyamorous families. They receive mixed reactions from people who question their way of life and stare at them when they are out in public, but they’ve also received support.
“I started out dating one on one with Angelica in the beginning. She didn’t lock me away and told me to live my life just to respect her and her wellbeing. So that allowed me the freedom to live a little considering I was a young boy at the age of 19 when I met her,” said Jermaine.
“From there I kept my options open as well as she did. She chose not to date outside of our relationship which was fine by me. I dated a couple of different partners that didn’t work out before I met my girlfriend Leighanne.
“I met Maria on a dating app, we met in person and went on a couple of dates. We fell in love. At the time it was a new experience for her to be dating a married man with two partners but she didn’t rule it out as life is full of opportunities.
“It’s like having a team of warriors that constantly have your back and support your wellbeing. This combination of love we built has allowed me the opportunity to love unconditionally and learn the differences it takes to emotionally, mentally and physically support each of them in their and my own way.
“I look at these women as a piece of my body. An extension of my love. This is our normal and because we don’t live what this world calls a normal life, one husband, one wife. We are doing just as fine living the way we are in this situation just as good as one on one partnership. One on three is fine with us.
“It’s our life decision and we wouldn’t change it for this world. We used to share the same room at one time but now the adults are divided up into three rooms and I get to take turns sleeping in three different beds.”
Angelica continued: “We never truly decided on when to have family. Our oldest daughter was a surprise, however, after her we planned our other two boys. I am not sure what I wanted as a family, I had a small family, but seeing friends with big families made me want a bigger family.
“Being in a polyamorous relationship means having the extra support within our household to be able to achieve what most other families cannot. Our plan is to continue to build our empire and become successful along the way of teaching our children to be successful.”
Having lots of children has always been a priority for Jermaine and he has some children he supports outside of his immediate quad family.
“We were taught to be monogamous and I feel like that just makes us become insecure. We’re told to go out there and find the one, the perfect love, the perfect mate and spend the rest of our lives on this earth with just that one person. To me that was very unideal for me because I love everybody,” said Jermaine.
“Polyamory has opened that door and that opportunity for us to expand our horizons but to expand it together instead of being a broken home and me having multiple partners all over the world, we combined ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally, financially and have built this empire.
“Our biggest accomplishment was building this family that we wanted. Now our house is full of kids that we love and adore.
“I had my first child at the age of 15 which by far was out of my control but resulted in a baby boy and later a grown man still in my life. My oldest boy is 25 years old. And my youngest child is two. I’m proud to say I have children on this earth whom I work closely with the mothers to ensure their wellbeing.”
Jealousy is something that everyone in the relationship has had to deal with at some point but through communication they have been able to work through those emotions.
“Jealousy was more in the beginning of the relationship as I was new to it. I struggled with the, ‘can he really love more than one?’ But as our relationship has grown individually with each other and as a whole, I wouldn’t say jealousy is an issue,” said Leighanne.
“We’ve all come to be supportive of each other and to discuss situations that we have issues with, so we can help each other understand why we do certain things with each other.
“I want to see polygamy couples have the same rights as anyone else. As well as LGBT and traditional families. I believe as long as you’re happy, taking care of your responsibilities and not hurting anyone involved, then it should be your right to do so.”
Family Roquemore love to travel, try new food and the adults try to take trips away from their children occasionally. Whilst they have no plans to actively extend their family at this time, Jermaine said that they would never rule it out.
“We don’t have any further plans to grow our family but I can’t say it’s out of the question as life still continues to be full of opportunism and growth. Maybe I’ll add another partner, maybe one or all of the ladies will add themselves another partner, who knows what the future will hold. I just know we will be together and will concur it all as one,” said Jermaine.
“It’s 2019, times have changed, there is so much divorce and cheating and lying out there you can find happiness if you are accepting. The norms of the 70s, 80s and 90s have changed and it’s a completely new era.
“The digital age has made it possible for exploration and complete growth and it’s only going to get bigger. Live your life for you. Love how you want to love. Be your own person and don’t judge the ones that aren’t your responsibility.
“Don’t judge us for who we are because this is the only life we have. If you want to love more, that’s great for us. If that’s not how you want to live, we’re not going to judge you. Just allow us the opportunity to love the way we choose to love.
“I’d rather promote healthy, happy relationships rather than cheating and lying relationships because then it turns into a tragic situation.”
For more information see www.instagram.com/ourpolyfam and www.youtube.com/channel/UCURsH4-Tb2OBxkMgRN8ExwQ/videos