By Alyce Collins
THIS woman was “happily” married for a decade until she met the second love of her life and decided she was POLYANDROUS and would be married to one man and date the other WITHOUT her in-law’s knowledge.
Café owner, Sarra-Maria Karlström-Rantala (32) and labourer, Ville (34) from Rovaniemi, Finland, have been together for 11 years, but after meeting I.T worker, Jani (28) a year ago this monogamous relationship became polyandrous.
Sarra met Ville at a rock bar over a decade ago after Ville approached Sarra that night, and their romance blossomed from then on and the pair have moved in together and are very happy together.
More recently, Sarra met Jani at the beach and they swiftly became friends while Sarra was filming the concert that Jani’s rock band was performing at. Over time, Sarra felt a romantic connection to Jani and she soon told both men that she wanted to be polyandrous with them both.
Although the men were both taken aback by the announcement and the concept of being polyamorous, they have learned to live with their newfound lifestyle since and they’ve found it works for them.
“I was the one who came out as polyamorous, which was a shock for the guys at first,” Sarra said.
“I’m dating both of the guys, but the guys don’t date each other. They have become very good friends though.
“Being married to two guys isn’t legal in Finland, so I’m legally married to Ville, and in 2020 I will have a Pagan/ Viking ceremony with Jani called Hand Fastening. It’s kind of like a wedding but the priest is our friend.
“We don’t all live together yet, but we hope to soon. We do own a café together though.
“At the moment Ville and Jani have their own homes close to each other so I live with Ville for one week and then Jani the next week, and it carries on like so. We spend a lot of time together as a three though.
“Now, Ville is very into the lifestyle, but Jani does remain more monogamous than us two – but he’s fine with the situation now.”
Polyamory is the concept of loving more than one person, and polyandrous defines a woman who chooses to take two or more husbands.
Although she is only currently married to Ville, Sarra and Jani will hold a ceremony to acknowledge their love for one another in which they will be ceremonially joined together.
A polyamorous relationship isn’t without its trouble though as Sarra admits that jealously can be a natural emotion occasionally.
“Of course, we sometimes get jealous, but not that much anymore,” Sarra said.
“Sometimes there are moments when either Ville or Jani feel a bit jealous of the other getting to spend time with me that day or something.
“We speak about everything very openly and we do spend a lot of time together which limits the jealousy. For us, polyandrous means being in a loving relationship and committed to each other.”
The trio are very happy in love and they are committed to their relationships. But Sarra does admit that it wasn’t an easy thing for them to explain to their respective families, with Ville not being able to tell his parents about the polyamorous element of the relationship yet.
“Jani’s family and my family know about the relationship, but Ville’s don’t,” added Sarra.
“Jani’s family have been really accepting from the very beginning, as soon as they found out. For my mum it was a lot harder for her to understand and she was a bit shocked at first. But she’s alright about the situation now.
“Some people we meet are a bit shocked, but more people just want to know how it works in terms of the arrangement we have. They also want to know if the guys are in a relationship with each other.
“We get questions about our sex life more than other couples probably would do, and that element is really weird. But our closest friends are very supportive and really lovely about it all.
“We want to show that it’s okay to be yourself. It might take time to get to a certain point, and it might be a hard journey to make, but you deserve to be happy. Love is love.”
The three hope to move in together soon, and the future also holds Jani and Sarra’s Viking Hand Fastening ceremony when they will commit themselves to one another.
To find out more, you can visit Sarra’s Instagram, @therealsarrastory.