By Mahima Kaur
*EXCLUSIVE*THIS BRAVE woman from Hertfordshire has revealed how she overcame abuse by her now ex-boyfriend who extorted £30K from her.
Service advisor Beckie Scott (25), from Watford, Hertfordshire was just eighteen years old when she met her now ex-boyfriend with a parasitic lifestyle at a nightclub in Watford.
She first became attracted towards his charming and outgoing attitude and he soon took her out on dates and charmed her with flowers and gifts.
However, soon after forming her relationship with him, Beckie was forced to leave her job in the hospitality industry at the insistence of her then boyfriend.
It was just one of the many things he eventually made Beckie do against her will, including deleting her social media and making her to pay for his bills and expenses.
By 2017, his mental and financial abuse towards Beckie turned into physical attacks.
Beckie, who has autism, relates how 2018 was the worst year of her life.
In February 2018, he got aggressive towards her and hit her with a hair spray that broke her windscreen, all while she was driving.
In May 2018, Beckie’s now ex-boyfriend got angry at her for getting a job at Ferrari and refused to give her her phone when she went to work.
In the August of the same year, he pawned Beckie’s new iPad Apple Pencil and her phone so he could use the money towards gambling.
Tired of being constantly abused, Beckie mustered the courage to report him to the police.
However, her abuser could not be charged for the physical abuse because Beckie’s evidence in the form of images and videos were over six-months old.
Instead, he was charged for coercive and controlling behaviour in an intimate relationship and criminal damage and eventually sentenced to serve 29-months in prison by a Crown Court in 2020.
He served nine-months and was let out last year.
Despite her abusive ex-boyfriend now roaming free, Beckie is not afraid because she has gotten a lifetime restraining order against him and she is now in a stable loving relationship with another man.
Beckie advises other women to spot such abusive people who often resort to victim blaming, pressurising to act in a certain way, controlling finances and behaviour and anger issues.
“I was being physically, psychologically, financially and emotionally abused in the two-and-a-half years of my relationship with him,” said Beckie.
“He had a big gambling problem which led him to steal £30,000 from me over time.
“He would also steal from my family by sending messages from my phone, pretending to be me while I was asleep to get money from them.
“The mental abuse started fairly early when he started to get into my head to tell me what I could wear, who I could see.
“He would take my phone off me when I wasn’t with him and wouldn’t let me see my friends and family.
“He got into my head and made me believe that no one wanted me and how I was worthless.”
The emotional abuse has left Beckie scarred mentally for life, but physical abuse has led to palpable scars.
“From physically assaulting me in front of other people during a holiday that I paid for, to hitting me, he started hitting me very early on in the relationship,” said Beckie.
“He used to get angry if I didn’t give him money for a bet and would then verbally abuse me and physically kick and grab me.
“He smashed the windscreen of the my car on two occasions and also broke the heater button once.
“In July 2018 the physical pain got worse as he would grab my hair, pinch me, hit me and pull me even while I was driving.
“One time when I refused to give him money, he grabbed my wrist and twisted it until I was on the floor.”
Beckie comes from a loving family where her parents never even fought in front of her. She lost her father, who was a policeman, to brain tumour in 2010 when she was just 16 years old.
“I come from a very work-motivated family, unlike his family,” she said.
“I was 16 when I got my first job and by 18 I was working two jobs and attending college.
“I don’t have one memory of my parents ever arguing. Of course it would have happened but never in front of us.
“My dad became sick in 2009 and was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumour and we lost him the following year in April 2010.
“I was diagnosed with autism and semantic pragmatic disorder at 16 and always struggled throughout school and college because of the late diagnosis.”
It has taken almost five-years for Beckie to finally not flinch of physical contact since she left her abuser.
“After I left him, he tried to contact me by sending flowers to my work but he couldn’t get hold of me or find me as I changed everything – bank details, phone number, emails,” she said.
“He told people I was crazy and making things up.
“He was the man who couldn’t hold a job for more than three-months in all the two-and-a-half years of our relationship.”
It has taken a lot of healing for Beckie to recover from her past and she is still not there. She is, however, happy and thriving in her relationship with her partner Max James and her dog Rice and they all live together.
“I feel like I’m starting to get closure and I no longer flinch if someone puts their hands near me,” she said.
“My family has been very supportive, especially because I struggle to speak sometimes because of my autism.
“I have met the most amazing guy who treats me how I should be treated- like a princess and we now live together with our dog.
“My mental health is good at the moment however I still struggle with flashbacks and get triggered easily.
“I don’t have a lot of friends today because a lot of them left me when my ex-boyfriend asked me to stop speaking to them.
“I only speak to a few people including one of his ex-girlfriends who is my now my best friend.
“She has stuck by me every step of my journey and I wouldn’t be here without her.”
Since Beckie started documenting her story on social media she has found a whole new world, a community of women who share their experiences of horrid abuses and Beckie wants to be there for them.
“I struggled to trust people and never wanted to talk to anyone about what happened until I started TikTok,” she said.
“I started speaking to hundreds of women that have gone through what I have.
“I have had a lot of women who have reached out to me on Instagram asking for help from all over the world so I’m so glad I’m able to support them to some degree.
“A lot of people use my page as a platform to just tell their story.
“It’s really nice seeing so many people support each other.
“I can’t really say what my future holds for me as at one point I didn’t even think I’ll make it till I am 21 and here I am, 25 years old.
“I am thankful for that and can’t wait to see what my future brings.”