By Rebecca Drew
THIS TRIAD were harassed for months and received threatening letters to their workplaces after announcing their three-way relationship on social media.
Architectural and design representative, Maggie Odell (26) originally from California, USA, first met her partner marketing manager, Cody Coppola (30) originally from Florida, USA, on Tinder in February 2016 and they knew that they were in it for the long haul the moment they met in person.
With open communication and trust, Maggie and Cody were not strictly monogamous but never imagined that they would get into a serious relationship with another person until they met knowledge management analyst, Janie Frank (25) originally from New York, USA, in November of the same year.
Their relationship soon blossomed into something stronger than friendship and they formed a triad a few months later. Jealousy has never been an issue and Maggie, Cody and Janie all agree that by having three people in their relationship it only means that there is extra love and support for each individual person.
The triad, who currently live in Denver, Colorado, USA, are happier than they ever have been before despite being subjected to months of harassment and stalking from an anonymous person after they went public with their relationship on Instagram in April 2018.
Maggie, Cody and Janie were all sent letters to their respective workplaces attempting to shame them into being fired for their relationship. Janie received additional letters accusing her of not being a genuine member of the LGBTQIA (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and/or questioning, intersex and asexual and/or allies) community.
Whilst this was an incredibly difficult time for the three of them, Maggie, Cody and Janie refuse to be silenced by their mystery stalker and are more vocal than ever about their relationship, hoping that by sharing their story, other polyamorous people won’t have to go through the same as they have done.
“We met Janie on an app. Then we met in-person at a bar. It was supposed to be very casual, none of us were looking for a relationship, it just happened,” said Maggie.
“Cody jokes that Janie came over and then never left, but he’s happy about it.
“It happened so organically that we were already in a relationship when we realised what was happening. It didn’t really require navigating any more than any other relationship.
“It was a first time experience, but just in the way that any new relationship is a first time experience. It didn’t seem more or less significant than any other first relationship I had been in.”
Janie continued: “Being in a triad means that, no matter what, I know there are always two other people who will be there for me, help me, love me, support me and listen to me.”
“I’m able to rely on my partners for support, advice and stability. Now, I can’t imagine life without all three of us.
“Being polyamorous also means that communication and openness are extra important. This is something we’ve all worked on a lot over the last few years.
“Communicating has only brought us closer together and more comfortable and secure in our relationship.
“Being in a polyamorous relationship is not what I would have expected. It’s much easier than you would think in a lot of ways, and for all of us it just felt very natural and comfortable from the beginning.
“The best thing about being in a throuple is the extra support. I’m where I am in life right now, personally, professionally, financially and mentally because of the outpouring of love and support I’ve received from my amazing partners.”
Cody went onto discuss how they dealt with the letters of harassment they received and the reaction from others when they’re out and about.
“We were never able to get copies of Maggie’s letters because her job never provided them,” he said.
“We coped by checking in with each other and being there for each other in all the ways we could. It was a hard time for all of us, but we just rallied around each other and became even more vocal about our love.
“The letters said a few different things. Maggie and my letters essentially said that we should be fired from our jobs because our relationship is inappropriate.
“Janie’s was more personal, and said that her partners should be embarrassed, that she is a fake member of the LGBTQIA community and that she didn’t actually love Maggie.
“We really don’t get too many weird looks when we’re out together. To people just seeing us in passing, we probably just look like three friends. It’s not like all three of us hold hands at the same time, and we’re not huge on PDA.
“When there is a time someone notices, we usually just laugh about it and joke about how confused they must be. We live in a very progressive city, so we’re lucky that most people really don’t care.
“Most often, the looks we get are when people see Janie and Maggie holding hands or something. In any case, we ignore it.”
The triad have plans to move to Prague but the coronavirus pandemic means that this is temporarily on hold but once they are able to move over, they plan to explore Europe, Asia and Africa whilst making life-long memories together.
They shared their words of advice to others.
“It’s not that complicated. If people think about what can happen in a relationship – how happy it makes you, how fulfilled it can make you, things like that – I’ve basically tripled that,” said Cody.
“I have three relationships – the one with Maggie, the one with Janie, and the one with the three of us.
“If what you want is love from a relationship, I have two or three times the amount of love. If what you want is support, I have two or three times the amount of support. They’re both pretty awesome, so it makes it easy.
“We weren’t looking for a relationship, but we found someone that worked very well and it morphed into us being polyamorous.
“If you find people where it makes sense and it seems like it would be natural to pursue, then I would recommend it, but don’t force it on yourself. Even if you don’t necessarily agree with monogamy, it doesn’t mean you want to be in a triad, and that’s ok.”
Maggie added: “We’re normal and boring. Relationships that seem out of the ordinary or taboo have more in common with the ordinary than the average person might think.”
“In fact, no relationship is ordinary because each one is unique to the people in the relationship.”
Finally, Janie echoed Maggie and Cody’s sentiments.
“The only message I would like to convey is that we’re just like anyone else, there is just three of us,” she said.
“We all have our own hobbies, political views, interests, religious beliefs, friends, etc. We love each other so much, and that love is a big part of our life but it doesn’t define who we are for any of us.
“Much like any relationship, having one or multiple partners can be a lot of work, but when you find the right person or people, the effort is worth it. I wouldn’t trade what we have now for anything.”
For more information see www.instagram.com/tri.adventures