By Liana Jacob
THIS RELATIONSHIP COACH who once cheated on her own husband for EIGHT MONTHS talks about the best way to ignite a spark in a relationship and feels that couples are not having enough ‘MIND-BLOWING SEX’ to keep their relationships alive.
Relationship coach, Rogue Pence (34), from Texas, USA, and her husband, Jeremy (36), hit a rocky patch in their marriage after she lost her father to suicide, which plunged her into despair and depression.
She began to blame her husband for her unhappiness which lead her to have an affair for eight months in 2015. They were on the verge of divorce when she realised her husband was fighting hard for her, and this became a wake-up call for her. She decided to change her ways and it ignited the passion in their relationship again.
This revelation inspired Rogue to open a coaching business designed to help other couples feel fully happy, loved and to teach them how to embody the feminine and masculine energy within their relationships.
She says from her experience that there is more to sex than most people realise and that couples should become less boring in the bedroom.
“My father had committed suicide seven years prior to the split between me and my husband; I lived many years just going through the motions, living in a fog and not being happy,” Rogue said.
“I worked my life away hoping my days would go by faster so I could be with him again. I was miserable; I blamed my husband for my unhappiness.
“This resulted in me having an affair for eight months in 2015 and leaving my husband. I didn’t know what was going on with me, however I knew I needed to save myself and be happy one way or another.
“The affair brought about a false sense of happiness, but it felt real and it honestly saved my life. I don’t regret it and I’m not sorry.
“I needed this event to happen to bring me to where I am today and make my life a much healthier and happy one.
“I wasn’t being loved and happy in my own personal relationship, so I started learning as much as possible to fix what was going wrong with me and my husband. We were on the verge of divorce.
“Honestly I think my husband showed me that he was going to do whatever it took. He fought for me without him even knowing what was going on – the other guy not so much.
“He was all talk with no action. It was a huge awakening for my husband as well; it jolted us out of our boring mundane lives.
“However, it wasn’t until I learned about feminine and masculine energy, how to speak my feelings, tap into my inner self and heal my inner wounds that things really started to shift for the better very quickly.
“When I saw how quickly my own relationship turned around after a few little adjustments to how I did things, it was like a miracle happened and all I wanted to do was share this with others.
“Now things are amazing between us; complete peace and harmony in our relationship. I would say that we finally know each other on a deeper more intimate level.
“Now during my coaching sessions, I walk someone through the steps to being fully happy and loved within themselves and then by another person. I teach them how to embody their feminine and masculine energy.
“For a new relationship, I help them to increase their love and confidence within themselves to ensure that they will attract a higher quality person; someone who will truly love them flaws and all.
“I help them to identify traits that may not serve them long term and find the best match for them, with one hour of diving into what is going on and me helping them learn more about themselves.”
Rogue explains the biggest challenges couples face today and says that sex is a big part of the development of relationships. She gives advice for couples in the run up to Valentine’s Day.
“I feel people are not understanding their given roles in the masculine and feminine energies; women are taking over the male energy and vice versa and it’s really messing things up,” she said.
“I also think that people are not having enough mind-blowing sex to keep their relationship alive. We’ve lost the passion and desire.
“Things have become boring and unfulfilling. Conventional sex is not the answer; there is more to sex than most people even realise.
“I would say don’t settle; your person is out there and until they show up you need to do the inner work on your own.
“That way you can attract the person who is meant to be in your life. When your vibe changes your match will find you.
“My husband and I changed everything in our relationship; we now listen to each other without judgement.
“We recognise that our view and reality on something may not be the same and we appreciate that about each other instead of fighting to be right.
“We are no longer co-dependant on each other, in other words, I don’t blame him if my life is not happy or if I’m feeling lonely.
“My life is in my complete control and I won’t let others control who I am or what I do, including my husband.
“We respect and value each other, however, in the end it’s my life to live so my happiness is in my hands, not in his, and vice versa.
“We communicate on a whole new level and this has created deep intimacy between the two of us; we show each other more of our true selves now than we ever have.
“My advice to couples is, if you’re looking for love that may be the problem; love will find you when your level of love for yourself increases.
“If you’re in a challenging relationship it only takes one person to turn it around. I typically coach one person at a time and ironically the other person will follow suit when they see the other changing.”