By Alyce Collins
THIS NURSING student was so embattled by her anorexia demons that she was afraid to even drink WATER.
Nursing student Emily Green (20) from Colorado, USA, has endured a difficult journey with her eating disorder after being escorted to a medical centre by police before sneaking away, and hiding her meals while in treatment.
Emily had shown signs of disordered eating for much of her childhood but was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa at the age of 16, spending much of her school time in hospital or treatment centres.
During her time at university, Emily saw her worst relapse of all and doctors deemed her too unstable to be assessed as an outpatient, so a campus police officer was required to escort her to hospital. As soon as the officer left, Emily exited the hospital.
However, she began fearing for her life as it was almost 48 hours since she had had anything, including water. At her lowest, Emily was just 6st 7lbs choosing to wear XS which would hang off her small frame. She now weight trains and takes care of her health, she is a happier 9st 2lbs, wearing size small.
To get through her recovery, Emily would write herself âI amâ notes each morning to remind herself what she wanted out of life and she would also write down what she was thankful for to encourage her to be positive and have hope in moving forward.
âMy mum noticed weird eating habits of mine from a very young age,â said Emily.
âShe mentioned this to my doctor when I was younger, but he just said that because my dad was thin that I was built like that naturally.
âAt first my eating disorder started very innocently because I just wanted to be healthy and feel accepted by my peers.
âAnorexia gave me a sort of high and I felt like it solved my problems. It numbed me from my anxiety and later my depression.
âIn 2013 I went skiing with my family and I was heavily restricting myself. Instead of going downhill skiing with them, I went cross country skiing because it burned more calories. While my family relaxed at the lodge at night, I would go to the gym. I had a routine of walking at least two miles on the treadmill before bed, regardless of what time it was.
âThroughout my time at school I had two admissions at an Eating Recovery Centre in Denver. When I left school, I was deemed mentally and physically stable, so I could go to university to study nursing.
âThe first year of university was amazing and I was really thriving. However, I think the stress hit me hard and I had no life outside of my classes, so I had very little interaction.
âFrom October to April I went down to 6st 7lbs and when I was at the doctorâs office she determined me to be too unstable for her to assess, so she called the campus police to escort me to the hospital.
âThe policeman dropped me off at the hospital and I walked inside, waited until he left and then walked back to campus.
âThat night, I felt a sense of anxiety and dread that Iâll never forget. It was a Thursday night, I hadnât eaten or drank anything in over 24 hours and I didnât have any plans until the Monday.
âFor the first time in my life, I was afraid I was going to die. I emailed my doctor to let her know I thought Iâd made a mistake by leaving the hospital and she told me to get back there right away.
âWhen I got to the hospital, I remember crying over the bag of IV fluids because I saw the word âdextroseâ and I knew that meant sugar.
âThey put me on heart monitors, a blood pressure cuff and an oxygen monitor. My circulation was so bad, and the numbers were below range that they would constantly set off alarms.
âI refused to let my dad see me eat but I had to have a sitter in my room for 24 hours a day. Somehow, I still managed to hide every single meal while in that hospital.
âI became so afraid of food and water that I couldnât bring myself to put anything into my body. So, Iâd go about 48 hours without eating anything.
âIt would take my two to three hours to eat a meal as Iâd cut my sandwiches into little pieces and stuff them into my napkin and put fruit up my sleeves.
âI was a danger to myself, so if I left the treatment centre they would call the police and Iâd get sent back to the centre.â
After she was deemed medically stable, Emily was transferred to McCallum Place, a specialised eating disorder hospital where staff could better cope with Emilyâs needs.
Three months later, Emilyâs treatment became less intensive and she eventually faced her treatment as an outpatient. In order to start her next academic year at university, Emily had to gain 3st 2lbs in one summer.
âI was discharged from my treatment program the day before I started my second year of university. Over that summer I gained over three stone,â said Emily.
âSince that time, Iâve faced the highest of highs and lowest of lows. Iâve made new friends and lost some too.
âIâve fallen in love with nursing school and helped to deliver babies. I recently ate my first doughnut in eight years.
âI love growing my strength in the gym and I continue to share my story on Instagram to connect with others. Iâm not ashamed of my scars but they donât define who I am.
âI make a lot of mistakes and I try to learn from them and I trust myself to care of myself. My parents shouldnât have to bury their daughter.
âIt may take you years to find what works for you in your recovery, and you may be doing well and then relapse, but you donât have to do it alone. Discover why you want to live and be healthy.â
Follow Emilyâs journey on Instagram @em_thrives.
