By Rebecca Drew
THIS POLYAMOROUS triad preparing to welcome their first child in October say they will parent as a “complete” three but won’t force their lifestyle on their daughter.
Ashta Monogue (33) and her husband Ash (36) from Georgia, USA, met seven years ago at a street fair, and have been married since 2013.
Ashta has been polyamorous for a decade and throughout their marriage and Ash has explored the concept since they were married and met Rowen (28) online in May 2016. For Ash and Ashta, forming a triad relationship with a third person wasn’t something that was planned, but after the three of them met and clicked, they all fell in love.
The three are now joyously expecting their first child in October this year, as Ashta is pregnant.
“We’re pretty complete as a family of three, and I think we would be happy even if we never had kids. But Ash and I have always wanted children, so when Rowen came into our lives, we decided to make a go at parenting as a triad,” said Ashta.
“The pregnancy was very planned. We had begun treatments at a fertility clinic when we found out that I was pregnant naturally. All three of us were very excited and we still are.
“Rowen had decided that they (Rowen is “gender queer” and prefers neutral pronouns) would have a baby for us if I couldn’t, but they are happy that I got pregnant.
“It’s possible that they will have a child someday, but that will be a conversation for later. We’re all very focused on this baby.”
For the triad, polyamory means the freedom of being able to love more without restriction, and Ashta, Ash and Rowen all agree this has meant that there is a community within their home.
For the triad, any feelings of jealousy that may arise don’t affect them as they function as a group, and they discuss and resolve any emotions that may arise.
“We’re all geeks and have lots of common interests. We love animals, board games, hiking, and trying new food. Ash and I met at a street fair in 2011 and were married in 2013. Ash met Rowen on an online dating site and we all three clicked really well,” said Ashta.
“Ash and I were not really looking for a triad situation, it just kind of happened. Ash dated Rowen for a couple of months and then the whole group clicked well together. Falling in love happened after about four months after everyone met.
“We’re not restricted in our relationships, so we’re not restricted to whom we can spend time with, or who we can date or love. Being in a triad means having a community built into our home. There’s always someone around to help you, or to talk to.
“I don’t know how to answer how our relationship works. It just does. We’re mature and we talk about our issues and discuss our feelings. We’re each delegated chores and responsibilities so that the house runs smoothly.
“We’re pretty well past the point of jealousy. We function as a group so if someone has feelings of jealousy, we talk about it and address any issues that come up. We occasionally have disagreements, but usually about how to decorate the house or what colour pillows to buy.”
Once the baby arrives the Ashta will be a stay-at-home mum to look after their child and Ash and Rowen will continue working as a customer support engineer and transcriptionist respectively. They intend to raise their baby in a happy and healthy environment and have lots of adventures as a family of four.
However, Ashta says that the three won’t force their child to be polyamorous and will encourage them to be whoever they decide.
“I think we will all encourage our daughter to be who she wants to be and do what she wants to do,” she said.
“If she decides to be monogamous, no one will be mad or judge her for it, but we’re not going to make her think that polyamory is better in some way. It’s not for everyone and that’s ok.
“Poly people aren’t abnormal. We’re just like monogamous people in many ways. We have jobs and hobbies and go out to dinner. We just live life with a few more people around.
“Lots of our friends are poly as well, so we’re lucky to be surrounded by a good support network.
“We rarely get bad reactions from people. Most people just acknowledge that our lifestyle isn’t for them, but they see that it works for us.”
For more information see www.mediadrumworld.com