By Rebecca Drew
MEET the family who are raising their children through gender-neutral parenting in the hope that their son and daughter will grow up to view men and women as equal and will never see their sex as a âhinderance or excuseâ.
Incredible pictures show how the Glorioso-Mays family from Odenton, Maryland, USA, have shunned defining their children by gender stereotypes with their son, Hadden (5) with bows in his hair and wearing a tutu and their daughter, Adelaide (1) dressed up as a firefighter and wearing adorable matching outfits with her brother.
For mum Callie (30) and her military husband Caleb (29), gender neutral parenting is all about raising boys and girls in the same way, they donât divide colours or toys between the two sexes and let their children play with toys or wear the clothes they would like to. Callie wants to break the misconception that gender-neutral parenting denies a childâs biological sex.
âThereâs a misconception that gender-neutral parenting means denying or concealing your childâs biological sex. But gender refers to social constructs of masculinity or femininity, which varies by culture and changes throughout time,â said Callie.
âThere was a time when girls wearing trousers was considered indecent. Thatâs changed. So who says more shouldnât change as well.
âThe way we practice gender-neutral parenting is based in the idea that boys and girls should be raised the same way. Instead of dividing things like colours and toys between the sexes we give each child the freedom and encouragement to discover what they like.
âFrom the time they were born weâve avoided highly gendered clothing and toys. We shop for both of them out of âgirlsâ and âboysâ clothing departments and, while most toys are shared, our son was gifted baby dolls and our daughter her own dump truck.
âOn a bigger scale we tried to avoid gendered language or assumptions. Phrases like âboys will be boysâ or âsheâs a drama queenâ play into negative stereotypes about each sex so I really rail against those.
âWe talk a lot about how boys and girls can do all the same things: boys can wear hair bows, girls love playing with airplanes, everybody likes to run and play at the park. We also intentionally expose them to books or people who are acting outside gender norms.
âFrom the time that theyâre born weâre telling children that thereâs a huge difference between men and women. Kids pick up on these subtle things and it informs their idea of what is acceptable for them.
âIf girls are given only dolls and play houses, theyâre learning that thatâs their appropriate realm. Our goal is that our children grow up to see men and women as equals and value them as individuals, instead of judging them on how well they fit into societal norms.
âWe hope that our children will never see their sex as a hindrance or an excuse, but as just one aspect of who they are.â
Callie and Caleb say that they arenât parenting in this way to be controversial or to show off, they just think that both of their children should be given the same opportunities and encouragement in life.
Callie explained the benefits of gender neutral parenting and discussed the reaction her family receives from the public.
âChildren will be more well-rounded and confident. Hopefully theyâll be in touch with their emotions, something we see as traditionally feminine, and their physicality, seen as traditionally masculine,â she added.
âAnd theyâll have more generous views of themselves and other people instead of viewing everyone through a strict gender binary.
âOn a larger scale raising gender neutral children will diversify fields that are currently highly gendered which results in stronger communities, organisations and countries.
âThe traditional view on gender is a binary: male or female. No variance. But I think society is becoming more comfortable with the truth that itâs not so black and white.
âI hope my children will have the freedom become their whole selves and also that they will extend that freedom to everyone they meet as well.
âI have a very small Instagram following and have connected with many like-minded parents so Iâve always had wonderful feedback on that medium.
âIn general the ânegativeâ feedback from friends and family members has more often come from a place of confusion than of true disagreement. Itâs hard for people to understand why we let our son wear a hair bow, for instance.â
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